Oppidanen

För några månader sen sade jag upp mitt bredband hos Tre men dom vägrar ta det på allvar. Jag får fortfarande räkningar som tydligen måste betalas och jag är mycket nära att skicka iväg ett hotfullt mail.

Kanske något i den här stilen;

Dear TRE,

I have noticed that you have not removed me from your system and I must say that I find it a bit troublesome. I have resigned my membership but I still get bills! Perhaps we have a problem in understanding each other. I have tried to be clear, but now allow me to be crystal clear:

After all these unnecessary bills you owe me 1 million US dollars. They are mine, I want them back and I want them now. Let me remind you that I am not the kind of person you would want as an enemy. I know every crazy crack nigger with a knife from here to Denmark. I know people so evil and flipped out that you would be suprised for a long time if you met one of them.

I know people with weapons.

And I promise you this: If I don't get my money I will hunt you down and you will run and run and run, but I will find you, I always do, and when I do I will cut you like a fish!

You hear me? Like a fish!

Please stay in touch

All the best

Daniel